Wednesday, March 24, 2010
My dearly beloved reader,
i write again in a fit of despair. It has, i am aware, been many months since A Tale from Salpant, and now i return to my strange form of brain emptying antics, with a miserable and truely buggered heart.
Firstly the untimely dimise of daddypant hit me like a large daddy stealing machine. I wont go into details as i'm sure you understand, needless to say a horrific time for all and one which will take along time to come to terms with.
The second major life crap, however, i am able to talk about with free abundance.
Yes, my strangely inquisitive ones, tis true, the fairytale that was Sally and Ollie is over. Deceased, defunked, deflated etc etc....And so now my brief, fleeting, glimpse of true loving happiness can now rocoil back to the damp humble recess from once it came.
I am only just beginning to towel off after hoisting myself galently from my torrent of tears, when another wave of self doubt swoops in to knock me over board, kicking me in both the heart and head, as i tumble head over heels to the bottom of another wine bottle where i lie, like the preverbial tequilla worm, gibbering, missing, mourning.
The above paragraph, my well informed ones, has been the past month for me. A truly horrible time and one i hope never to revisit again, tho i am lovingly reassured that "you'll go thru plenty of these before the right one comes along...you're so young"....
After testing my toes in the 'begging him on hands and knees to come back' waters, i decided to opt for the 'lets be friends' pool instead. After a few brief encounters at our local pub, swapping small talk and me remembering every single tiny detail of why i fell in love with him, i decided to ask him if he would come with me to scatter my dear daddys ashes. Of course he complied, and after a strangely calm afternoon spent at the Byron Bay lighthouse saying goodbye to daddy, and a rather cheap and cheerfull dinner that lacked taste but left the table clear for sintilating conversation, that got both our creative juices flowing, i felt sure that spending the entire night together could only be a good thing......?
Now, i hear you screaming obscenities at me now, but sadly the forward thinking, blog writing part of my brain had inexplicably turned to jelly at this point and obviously wasn't functioning too well. And so, as we snuggled up in bed together, just like the good ol' days, and as he reached over to click out the light, i swear i heard the faint crack of my heart breaking just that little bit more.
But now a happy note to end on......tho my life seems to have turned to bile, i have however moved into the quaintest, loveliest house right on the beach, with my own studio so that 'Sally by Sally, jewellery and curiosities', formerly 'Ollies Dolly', can flourish. I am surrounded by truely, understatedly, cool house mates, and i am within sneezing distance of work....hmm...not sure if thats a good thing or not! Oh well, its home for now and its great...(very tempted to end with something along the lines of; "shame Ollie doesn't want to be around to share it with me".....but i wont go there)
Till next time. X